Bell, Why is there Paint on the Cat?

Jeremy calls me Bell, he's called me that for almost 20 years. I'm not sure exactly where it came from, his mother claims she called me Bell first when J and I started dating. She thought i was a Southern Bell.. HA, she's not from these parts and didn't know me very well... Anyway, the name stuck and I like it. Its usually Lori Bell or just Bell, if he calls me just Lori then he's hurt (physically like, hit himself in the shin with the machete hurt - it was dull), pissed or confused. Some of his work cohorts thought my real name was Bell and still some others that apparently couldn't hear very well thought he was calling me Bill. I learned this when I went to see J when he worked at a particularly disgusting job and factory (that will remain nameless, but they process chickens...) I walked in and this gentleman said, "Hey Bill!" and walked off, I thought he was talking to someone else until J came to the office laughing, when he finally controls himself he says, "JT came out and said Bill was here, I asked him who Bill was and JT said, well, your wife. Hey I always wondered why do you call her Bill? She doesn't look like a Bill..."Well you can imagine the laughter that ensued after that, and everyone there called me Bill for the rest of Jeremy's tenure.

Maurice the Guilty Cat

But I digress, back to the paint. When I paint, I get paint everywhere. I open the can of paint and I will get some on me, I can walk down the paint isle at Lowe's and get paint on me, if I have a paint brush in my hand there will be paint on my hand, legs, arms, in my hair and apparently the surrounding wildlife too. I also got some one the floor, stepped in it and tracked it all over the bathroom. As I was painting the trim Maurice (cat #4) comes in to check out whats happening and being curious proceeds to sniff, very closely the paint tray getting paint on his nose. You would think this would make him scamper away but not Maurice, now he's really curious and decides to stretch up the freshly painted trim piece leaving pretty little kitty prints in my paint and all over the bathroom floor (That's when I discovered my own tracks on the floor). Maurice runs from the bathroom and down the hall, he's easy to track, yep white foot prints down my hardwood hall.

At this point Jeremy joins in the chase but ops to clean up the prints before they dry. I am under the kitchen table trying to catch the cat who thinks we are playing a new game, he runs back to the hall where J is and I hear, "Well, Maurice you have paint on your feet and WOW, on your face too... Bell, why is there paint on the cat???" I don't know what to say at this point, I stomp by both Maurice and Jeremy and go back to painting the bathroom, the cat can hang out with him and show him first hand how he got paint on his face. If he comes back into the bathroom with me I'm going to use him to finish painting the walls!

I'm talking about the cat... of course ;)